Progress!!!

Oh. My. God.  Has it really almost a month since I last posted?????!!!!! Again, I have to start by apologizing that I am not posting every Monday as promised.  Sheesh, this is getting like homework assignments from high school!  I just need to learn to post more often so I don’t write so damn much and overwhelm myself!!  Short notes every Monday would be much better!  

 

So, where did I leave off?  Oh, yes, before Thanksgiving, which is why I haven’t posted as I had that week off of work and it’s hard to blog from home.  Thanksgiving went really well.  Everyone was concerned, myself included, that it would be emotionally and physically hard not to partake in the usual feast as I used to.  We hosted at my house, had my BFF and her husband and daughter over and it was really relaxed, nothing fancy.  They provided the 22 lb turkey (thank you BFF and hubby :)!  So I cooked that, along with stuffing, mashed potatoes, supreme green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, and mashed carrots/turnips – with rolls and punkin pie, of course.  

To make a long story short, the food was wonderful, but I filled up on some appetizers my BFF made (little pigs in blankets, nummy - my favorite - had about four of those babies! and spinach dip) and also, of course, picked at the turkey while carving.  SO by the time we all sat down and I had my food on my little tiny plate, I was already full!  But I had a few bites and called it good.  I thought I would be more remorseful that I couldn’t eat more, but it wasn’t that bad.  There was a little regret, but it didn’t ruin it for me, or make me angry or depressed or anything.  I knew the food would all be there later and I could have more later if I wanted.  I also had half a piece of punkin pie a few hours later, so no deprivation there!  I was bummed I couldn’t have the usual turkey bun sammiches for leftovers, but I did make one the next day, ate a few bites, and gave the rest to Fuzz.  And surprisingly enough, I was satisfied.  Of course, I wished I could eat a LITTLE more, but that's how I got to needing surgery!  All in all, it went really well, better than expected, and I didn't throw any food rage tantrums or have to go the bathroom and cry over my deprivation and loss, lol. 

As a side note, I did a LOT of grazing over the week and weekend.  I don’t have any routine or structure at home and do much better at work, and of course, picking at turkey and stuffing for four days here and there since I really couldn’t EAT it but for grazing and topping off, didn’t help.  I didn’t lose any weight that week…just fluctuated back and forth the same few pounds, but I don't think that's why as my calories are always under 900 or so a day.  I should mention that Thanksgiving was my fifth week out of surgery and I was on the last week of my restricted, soft food diet.  All the food was soft (cut with back of fork) but I did try, and tolerated fine, the turkey and ate it the next week, also. I've ALWAYS been one to push the limits and test out restrictions, and this surgery has been no different *sigh*.

So last week, Thursday, I finally graduated to ‘normal’ food and can now eat whatever I can tolerate, being careful, of course.  But I am one of those lucky ones who can tolerate anything, and who has not gotten sick once.  I never had to eat just two teaspoons of jello or yogurt, I can eat a half cup of food or almost a cup of soup without any issues.  I was worried for a while I wasn’t restricted enough, but that was just silly worry as I definitely have restriction, especially with compared to my life before!  I think we all worry that this surgery isn't going to work 'for me' - that I will be the one it will fail for.  We have been damaged with SO MANY diet failures and have felt like such failures again and again with diets, it's ingrained in us that 'this won't really work either.'  But, as I have learned and researched, the weight will come off - it's almost impossible to NOT have it come off with our tiny tummies.  

Last week, Fuzz sand I were out late (buying my new car!!) and we needed to grab food on the way home.  We stopped by a little burger/diner stand and I ordered a small mushroom melt cheeseburger for me and Baby C to split.  No fries or anything, Fuzz had plenty of extras to share if needed!  I cut the baby cheeseburger in half, gave half to Baby C, and then cut the other half in half again (quartered) and took the top bun off.  I ate almost the whole quarter, and most the mushrooms off the other quarter and was DONE.  Phew…felt like Thanksgiving dinner in the old days!  Was amazed as before I would have easily have eaten what my darling hubby did, which was a double bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a diet soda.  Oh, I did have about three small fries.  I now almost always eat less than Baby C, our three-year old.  My plates are smaller than his and I often can’t finish them.  I’m at under 1000 calories a day, around 30-40 gm of carbs, and 70 gm of protein.  So doing well!!  Lots of deli meat, cheese, smoked salmon, jerky steak bites from Costco, protein shakes and bars, and normal dinners with the boys (just much smaller).  Now that I am on a ‘regular’ diet, I need to start incorporating more fruits and veggies…just don’t know how since I have so little room, how would I then get in my protein?  It really is a dilemma!  I want to try salad….some places say to wait three months, my doc and nutritionist don’t have that rule, but I’ve heard lettuce gives a lot of us sleevies issues.  Some not at all…I am guessing that since I have been lucky to date, I will probably be just fine.  I even had some corn on Monday, no issues, so there you go! We’re having a dinner party this weekend and I’m making Caesar salad so I’ll let you all know how it goes down! I would LOVE a chef salad, small, of course. 

So, to weigh in!!!  I’m now at 269.8.  Below 270....yay!!! Finally broke another stall where I was fluctuating between 271-271 all week.  Ugh.  I need to get down to 255 for the Christmas Challenge (on verticalsleevetalk.com) but I don’t think I can do 15 pounds in two a half weeks.  I thought I was too aggressive when I set and readjusted my goal, but like I said, what do I have to lose but weight!!!  I know I will lose it, just don’t think that much.  I seem to hover a lot for a week or so, then lose a few pounds here and there. I think I'm a slow loser, then when I update my tickers and graph, I see that I'm doing pretty well!  It's just that the weight stays the same for so many days at a time, and even goes up(!) that it seems slow, but it's really not.  I've lost 33 lbs since 10/20, six weeks.  That averages 5.5 lbs a week!  Damn...that's the first time I figured that out - now I'm really happy and know I'm not a slow loser, sheesh!  I’m also worried that I haven’t lost very many inches. I carry most of my fat in my tummy and I’ve only lost about 4 inches in my waist.  Which is not much.  I’m worried my weight loss is muscle….but we’ll see.  With my PCOS and other hormonal issues, I’m not the usual when it comes to weight loss.  My clothes are a little looser, people say they can see it in my face.  Not a lot of people have commented, though, as it’s only been 33 pounds and I still have 100 to lose. I figure when I get to about 50 down, that when people will really start to comment.  No smaller clothes yet, either, but I'm right on the cusp of that, too.  I could probably do a smaller bra, and squeeze into smaller pants, but I don't want to squeeze.....ever again!  I want things to fit comfortable, so I'll wait and bide my time! 

Wait, make that 99.4 lbs to lose, not 100!!!!  Whoo hoo!!! That’s right, with this morning’s break into the 260’s, I also now have less than 100 lbs to lose AND I also am now under 40 BMI!!  I started at 44.6 BMI and as of this morning I am now at 39.8!  Yay!  Two other goals realized!  So even if I don’t make my Christmas Challenge, I am sure I will make my original goal (at the right) to weigh 265 by New Year’s (Baby C’s third birthday is New Year’s Eve).  So I KNOW I will make my original goal, which makes me happy, and will probably surpass it a bit.  Don’t think I’ll make 255, but I will make my original goal and that makes me happy!! Those who know me know I always reach my goals eventually...which is why I was hesitant to overshoot for the Christmas Challenge, but now I'll know for next time - it was my first challenge after my surgery so I had no way of knowing how fast or slow I would lose.  I'll know better for next time!

So, my lovelies....till next time.  I really will try to post more often (not like you are all waiting with bated breath for my next entry, but you know...)

Thanks for reading my babblings and I hope I am helping some, inspiring others.  Talk to you next week!!!